EDitorial ± 10-Jan-2018

Syncope No Good To Me

Pre-Christmas
Me, who's never ill, contracted The Dreaded Lurg in the run-up to Crimbo. Biked to work as per on the Wednesday and spent that morning feeling like Billy Ray Cyrus's blood-pumping organ. Up to the point, that is, when I remembered the Lemsip Max nestling at the back of my drawer. Come lunchtime, felt right as Barbara Cartland's daughter.

Had already booked off the next day, a Thursday, as time-off-in-the-loo and had plans aplenty to make a start on some serious present-buying. Woke up around 9am to take more drugs then drifted back to sleep. For another five hours. Didn't purchase many gifts that day.

That weekend, absolutely totally completely 110% recovered, I took a long overdue power shower. Stepped on to the mat and promptly had an attack of the vapours. My mental magic 8-ball presented various options:

  • throw up
  • wash face
  • lie down
  • pass out
  • remain motionless

Still wet, I slumped on the floor against the pumping hot radiator before streching out on the floor. Gotta get that head level with the heart, advised the doc after my last episode. Minute or so later, normal service resumed. All good since then.

Post-Christmas
The Boy, who's never ill, contracted The Dreaded Lurg in the New Year. While Christmas was officially put back in its box for another twelve months, he lay sweating in his bed or semi-comatose on the sofa with one clouded eye half-watching bad film remakes. Point Break, anyone? Still not right come the weekend, he even ducked out of his Scholl-like shoe shop shifts.

Finally, yesterday, he declared himself officially able to make like Tebbit and take to his bike. Bit of a bummer, then, to find his back wheel flat as a waffle. Drop it off at Ranelagh Road or Halford's, I suggested, on your way to college. Dead helpful, me. Off he walked, pushing that Triban. Now, I was staying at work to play ping-pong and thought I'd make a Dad call early evening to catch up with him:

[DAD] You playing badminton tonight?
[BOY] No, not really up to it.
[DAD] Oh?
[BOY] Yeah, I fainted in Halford's this morning.

He'd strolled half a mile with the dead bike, found one bike shop closed, then wheeled back to Halford's. Carried his racer upstairs to the bike department, said hello to the sales guy, then passed out. Minute or so later, having downed a couple of glasses of water (Halford's guys were excellent and the silly boy hadn't eaten or drunk anything that morning), normal service resumed. All good since then.

EDitorial ± 7-Nov-2017

TT1718, Britannia Cormorants v. Defiants

I sat out last week's encounter with currently table-topping Rosary Green. How did they do without me? Won flippin' 7-3! Perhaps pertinent that the Green 'Uns were without Nick, their leading player, who's played 15, won 15 thus far. Good timing.

Back on duty tonight with a trip to The Dome where hopefully we'll improve on our 6-4 defeat to them blasted Buzzards. No Alison tonight, sickly at home, but we have a handy nuclear class sub in the form of unbeaten Richard. That'll be unfortunate news for the featherlight Cormorants. Good to see KO Cup Brian and Dalek-defeating James again. Must confess I spent quite a while chatting to crossword compiler Tim instead of watching the other games, tut-tut. Notable notes:

  • hat trick for Ed without losing an end
  • hat trick for Steve without losing an end (with a couple of deuces)
  • hat trick for Richard without losing an end

Were our poor opponents that poor? No, not at all. Think we were all on reasonable form and they weren't. That extended to the doubles with Steve and Richard nailing that in straight games too. Freaky scorecard, each and every end won by us, yielding a rare 10-0 win. It won't last.

EDitorial ± 23-Oct-2017

TT1718, Wherstead Meteors v. Defiants

Third game of the season and Steve is returned from his intensive ping-pong training camp high in the Rocky Mountains. Pretty sure he was on his hols, actually, but good to have one of the core Defiants back in the fold for our trip to Wherstead. I gave directions to Richard and was confident he'd find the place. Shame I didn't tell him about the secret door to the stable block. He didn't really need a warm-up anyway.

Through the magic portal to find two familiar faces in no-longer-Smart Gordon and Which Computing Colin, plus taoist Phil. Notable notes:

  • Richard and Ed off to equal flying starts
  • many many nets & edges, predominantly in our favour
  • Steve, up against Colin, stalled at the finish line
  • very same Steve bounced back to easily beat Gordeon before sneaking past Phil in five mighty tight ends
  • biskwits galore: Oreos and Fig Rolls and choc digestives, plus choice of cordial
  • topspin Richard barely troubled: nine ends, nine wins
  • Phil seemed to question his whole belief system by saying "I don't believe it" when Steve scraped yet another net
  • Ed, comfortably 2-0 up against Gordon, took his foot off the pedal, went behind in the final end, got back to deuce, then lost
  • reasonably straightforward doubles win for 100-per-cent Richard and less-than-100-per-cent Ed

Believe that's 20 points from three games. Highly acceptable.

EDitorial ± 15-Oct-2017

130Story: Finding / Organizing / Touchdown / Italic

The rules of 130Story are simple: given a random seed word, write a story in 130 characters.

Finding

Organizing

Touchdown

Italic

More to follow.

EDitorial ± 13-Oct-2017

Felixstowe Light Lunches: The Boardwalk

Grateful for a murky Friday due to my popping pupils, still wildly dilated after more indeterminate tests up at the eye-eye department. Best not to be cycling with one eye shut and the other open only a slit to let in as little light as possible. Sound idea to stick to the back roads en route to work.

How squintingly super, then, to be sitting on the shiny new Felixstowe pier, home of the shiny new Boardwalk. Arrived here through the 2017 grabbers and slots and bowling. Quick peek out back reveals that there ain't no End Of The Pier show. Flash fittings, all portholes and mirrors, will be paid off by these pub prices. Despite most dishes being a tenner or more, the place is chop chop busy busy.

Me and Andy, drifters both, order all the goujons inside then seek outside seating, of which there's plenty. Niftily, a set of tables is protected from the East Coast wind by a glass partition. Annoyingly, those are all taken. After five minutes being blown about and still trying to shield my ocular nerves, we head back through the swish automatic door.

Given our simple order, the grub takes an age to arrive. Nicely done, though, when it finally emerges, fresh with tangy tartare and crispy leaves, and all the staff are friendly and courteous, which is nice. Think there was sweetstuff to be had but not by us today, what with the time and heading back to work and all. Very good Paddy & Scott's double shot takeaway latte, though. Not the full cakewalk, the Boardwalk, but you'll be havin' some fun.

If it was a car -- Studebaker Lark.
If they were passing by -- Daniel Bowen-Smith.

EDitorial ± 10-Oct-2017

TT1718, Defiants v. Pickwicks

Bit of a week at Broom Acres. Tuesday, Theo made his debut in the Ipswich & District Table Tennis League. Wednesday, we were sitting in A&E after a taxi took him out on London Road. Lucky boy to emerge with only a broken collarbone. Six weeks out, most likely, putting a stop to the ping-pong, badminton, driving, etc. At least he's still with us.

Step in bright young spark Richard, based at the GPO for a year on an industrial placement and eager to get a game at whatever level. Coming through the door as me and Richard trade shots are lefty Lloyds Mike, always good for a laugh, (previously) and cantankerous Cookie Mark. Their third player's let them down, alas, granting us a cheeky three point start. In brief:

  • both for Richard, winning both in straight ends with some fine rallies against Cookie
  • both for Ed, also winning in straight ends including a couple of should-have-lost-that-really ends
  • nowt for Alison, showing the odd flash but too many unforced errors

With Alison volunteering to score, over to Richard and Ed to bring home the doubles in four fun ends, the Cookie monster finally thawing out a tad by that stage. All over by 9:15pm and eight solid points on the board.

EDitorial ± 8-Oct-2017

130Story: Suggesting / Evaluation / Viable / Protests / Nintendo

The rules of 130Story are simple: given a random seed word, write a story in 130 characters.

Suggesting

Evaluation

Viable

Protests

Nintendo

More to follow.