By the time you read this, Thursday's big occasion in Ipswich could well be all over. The build-up and the event itself will have been covered by the BBC, and the result will feature strongly in both the tabloids and broadsheets. No, not that trifling footy game against the mighty Inter Milan, but the by-election.

I remember a stupid jingle from some American series a few years back:

Exercise your right to vote
Vote for the one you like the most

If I were to report that local residents were feverishly excited about that short hike to the polling booth, I'd be somewhat wide of the mark. In fact the turnout could be awfully low, so I gather. Now, if one of the candidates could guarantee that all the Ipswich fans who've bought flights and accommodation for the away leg in Italy would get a ticket for the match, they'd become our next MP.

From where I am, things are very quiet on the electioneering front. Not a single pamphlet has dropped through our door, though it's possible that some were mixed up with the many kebab-delivery flyers we get. I'd have thought that at least one of the nine candidates would have called. Apart from the big three parties (who need no more publicity), there'll be reps from:

• Christian People's Alliance — fresh from Kabul
• Socialist Alliance — another renegade faction
• Legalise Cannabis Alliance — war, what war?
• Green Party — wind farm in the town centre
• English Independence Party — hurrah for St George!
• UK Independence Party — hurrah for the union!

No loonies by the look of it. Or you may disagree. It's all great fun for the bloke in charge who has to ensure that the ballot boxes make their way safely into Ipswich town centre...at the same time as 20,000 football fans head the other way.

Must dash, off to check if it's too late to stand for the Freston Alliance.

Be seeing you!

Ed