EDitorial ± 3-Jul-2002

Nothing Worse

I guess it's a simple matter of Yin and Yang as expounded in yer basic Han dynasty Confucianism: for every upside there has to be a downside. Much like Newton's third law, the one that says no robot should injure a human. Was that Asimov? Some man of science, any road up. Wish I'd payed more attention in Physics at my local comprehensive. Though I did enjoy The Great Egg Race with Prof Heinz Wolf (sp?). Never a rubber band to hand.
There is nothing
Better in life
Than writing on the sole of your slipper with a biro
— Half Man Half Biscuit

Terribly well done to anyone still here. That first para rambled on a tad, did it not? To the matter in hand: pet hates. Not that I hate pets, he said all too quickly, though we did dispose of the cat. And, on another occasion, my negligence did lead to the death of a hamster. It's a fair cop.

Even I, as I breeze through my thirties endeavouring to lead a happy-go-lucky existence, experience the odd moment when my blood pressure rises. Odd that it can be the tiniest thing. Here's a quicky top ten of personal irritations:

  1. that T-Mobile jingle (the illegitimate offspring of Intel Inside)
  2. wasted paper print-outs at work
  3. finding the tea towel in what I amusingly call its NDP, the natural drying position, i.e. scrunched up on the work surface
  4. Friends: please, please finish
  5. drivers who don't indicate - I speak as a driver but also a cyclist
  6. two Inland Revenue words: self-assessment
  7. receiving an email with a blank subject line
  8. broken CD jewel cases
  9. some phrases: "fill your boots"; "thankyou" with no space; anyone overheard saying "or alternatively"
  10. Billy Connolly's ads for Lotto

You'll appreciate that I have it mighty tough, going by the above list.

If You Take Away With You Nothing Else

On a more positive note:

  1. love that T-Mobile ad with the baby's face everywhere
  2. favourite phrase currently: "deal with it!"
  3. the smell of rain, Amelie the film, kicking a ball around, sitting down knowing the kids are asleep, Dvorak's Carnival overture, buying a new paperback, an extra-strong mint after coffee, the West Wing, etc.

Be seeing you!

Ed