EDitorial ± 15-Oct-2002

Skip To My Loo

Shockingly I missed an EDitorial last week: the shame! This was reason enough for two people to enquire after my health, which was nice. So let me plead illness as grounds for failing to hit the self-imposed weekly deadline.

My heart is heavy - my head is confused
And my aching little soul - has started burning blue
— The The, Infected

One night last week - I can't be more vague - the boy, now aged two-and-a-bit, stirred in his sleep. Bringing him into bed, he put his hand on his belly, said "sore", then added "poo". I did the AA inspection, but he was all clean in the undercarriage area. Again, "poo", said the boy, now crying, and he wouldn't lie down. Then, a few minutes later, standing by the bed, came a noise that should have been recorded for posterity (did you see what I did there?). This was the sound of a young boy's bowels evacuating at full speed, a turbo-powered motion, a movement of symphonic proportions. You had to be there, but be mighty glad that you weren't. He was nearly giggling with the sheer relief.

Disposable nappies clogging landfills or terries washed at high temperatures: it's a dilemma

As a family, you have to learn to share, so there was a certain air of inevitability when I finally succumbed towards the end of the week (by this time 66% of the kids were largely over it, and the other 33% was off school today). Praise be to whoever said that we needed a downstairs loo.

If You Take Away With You Nothing Else

Other highly amusing terms for a bum deal:

  1. Delhi Belly: friend of mine had a genuine case on his Indian hols
  2. Aztec Two-Step
  3. Lanzarote Botty
  4. Acapulco Splash: remember the cliff diving on World of Sport?

Be seeing you!