EDitorial ± 9-Mar-2004

Dummy's Guide

Number 1 was a sucky child and took to one like the proverbial duck to water. Number 2 was far more amenable and never needed one. Number 3 was another little sucker — he currently says goodbye with a swift "see ya sucka!" — and, until this week, went to sleep with one.
Put your head back in the clouds
And shut your mouth
— Julian Cope, World Shut Your Mouth (1986)

I say tomato, you say tomato, I say dummy, you say soother. At www.baby-supplies.co.uk now, along with the fennel seeds and the baby crying analyser (?), you'll find a massive 92 items in the soothers, dummies & pacifiers section, including a John Lennon mini ulti soother twin pack. Imagine!

Four dummies, two caps, a dog and a dinosaur, coming soon to a multiplex near you

The dummy: a necessary evil? Discuss.

With number 1, and largely thanks to Jill Murphy's inspirational book The Last Noo-noo, we agreed to do as Marlon does at the end and plant her remaining dummies in the garden. Final pages of the book show a noo-noo tree coming into bloom, something that number 1 was told would happen in due course. Years later, she was let down badly when she found out that this wasn't going to happen.

Despite the fine examples set both by Liz Hurley a while back and by Maggie Simpson, I think it's time for youngest, now 3-and-a-half, to kick the habit. Going OK so far this week, though I'll be happier once the offending items are nestled snugly in the earth outside.

Playing in the background as I type: Mysterons, by Portishead, from the album Dummy. There is no escape from the binky.

Be seeing you!