Previously on Defiants TV: a five-man team comprised of Ed, Andy, Yang, Steve and Kev did enough to finish third in division 3. That was sufficient to gain promotion. Then, over the summer, Kev announced another Sinatra-like retirement from the game and Andy decided that he'd rather remain in div 3 in a newly formed team. In a further twist, Defiants acquired another player in the guise of young Natalie from Bright Stars. Up to speed?

Team picks itself tonight: Ed, Steve and Natalie. Except that new girl's hobbling with a last minute hockey injury and has to pull out. Ed texts, makes calls and even looks in the reduced BT phone book before a replacement is found: step forward Andy, keen volunteer and lifesaver. He's on his way to Adastral Park before Ed thinks to inform Andy that the game's up at the Defoe Dome.

Us not-so-young boys are up against old boys the Britannia Petrels, these particular birds being powerful Peter, lefty John and chopchop Bernie. Average age of their team: 73 years. They're a solid div 2 side with guile galore. We're a newly promoted div 3 side and possibly out of our depth. In brief:

• no points and just the one end for guest star Andy, nonetheless helping to tire them out
• similar stats for Steve despite some cracking rallies
• good 2/3 for Ed, somehow emerging victorious in five-setters against both John (10-6 down in final end) and sweary Bernie before sweatily losing to Peter

Decent of Andy to score the doubles played by Ed and Steve, our boys grabbing a precious point in another five-ender to end with a satisfactory 7-3 defeat. Plenty more points to be played this season.