It's January, it's chilly outside, and the Weightwatchers ads take pride of place in the commercial breaks between Fat Friends, Celebrity Fat Club, etc. Alongside other slots for Benylin and nicotine patches are one or two others for collectables that build up week-by-week, and there's often a binder free with the first edition.

Apparently these so-called part-works more often than not hit ITV at this time of year because the rates are that much lower. Plus everyone's contemplating the minimum repayment on their credit card bill and thinking of self-improvement generally. Quite how building a model of The Bounty comes into this, who knows.

Reminds me of a scene from Ripping Yarns, the one entitled Tomkinson's Schooldays. Our hero, played by Michael Palin, is in metalwork class, when in comes the teacher who can't help but look up:

[teacher] What is that, Tomkinson?
[Tomkinson] It's an icebreaker, sir.
[teacher] What scale is it?
[Tomkinson] Full scale, sir!
[teacher] Well, melt it down at once!

Last week, one lunchtime, myself and G-G-Grenvyle were racking our considerable brains to recall this year's offerings; we managed half-a-dozen or so. For posterity I thought I'd recce a couple of newsagents for a fuller list, and here's what I found:

1. Art Crazy
2. Art Of Calligraphy
3. Build The Red Baron's Fighter Plane
4. Cavalry Of The Napoleonic War
5. Classic Carry On Film Collection
   — issue 2: Carry On Up The Khyber
6. Classic Trucks & Vans
7. Dickens Collection
   — free with issue 1: Oliver Twist
8. Doll's House Step By Step
9. Easy PC
   — apparently this one runs to 104 parts!
10. Inspector Morse
    — already up to issue 10, I believe
11. Lord Of The Rings Collector's Models
    — issue 1: tiny Gandalf — not a toy!
12. Mr Bean's Amazing A To Z
    — issue 1: from aardvark to anglerfish
13. You And Your PC

Inaugural issue is typically half-price and includes a freebie of some kind. Full price of LotR Models, by the way, is £5.99: yikes!

Confession time: when I was younger and knew no better, I succumbed to The Illustrated Encyclopaedia Of Aircraft. The local paper shop put it to one side each week, and I was no more than halfway through the alphabet when, the total cost getting ever higher, my long-suffering parents put me out of my misery.

Be seeing you!

Ed