Are the stars out tonight? Actually, no: Cassy's crooked and Red Bull Rob is inDISSposed. Out, then, with the classic Defiants line-up circa palindromic 1991 -- Ed + Grenvyle + Kev. Quake, opposition, quake.

Undoubted highlight of the night was an unexpected point secured by (just happy to be here) Grenvyle, powering his way past Danny Boy at maximum velocity. If it went high, he'd hit it. If it went low, he'd hit it. Thwack! Our man somehow found the stamina to win on a deuce in the fifth & final end. Naturally, he all but collapsed afterwards, but hey.

Poor Danny had already gone down in another juicy five-ender to Ed, who dug disproportionately deep to come back from 10-5 down and save five matchpoints on the trot. Not to mention an embarrassingly unbalanced amount of nets and edges in favour of us, the home side.

All six players (yep, even Kev) nabbed at least one point, which is always nice and equitable and a smidge socialist. Best to gloss over the dodgy doubles performance phoned in by Ed and Kev. Still, we'd have taken the draw if offered it before the game.