EDitorial ± 15-May-2012

Mallow World

Make the wrong chance remark at the wrong time and you know what you'll be getting for all future birthdays. I may have let slip once that I had a penchant for marshmallow. Come the next Christmas, this is what happens. Luckily this doesn't remotely apply to me 'cos I still love 'em.

You know they say that if you catch a kid smoking, you should force them to smoke the whole packet to rid them of the nasty habit? I've tried that with numerous packs of low grade Princess mallows -- only £1 for a double-size pack at your nearest Farm Foods -- and only come away with the slight feeling of nausea. Then I'm back for more like a less threatening Irvine Welsh character.

Quick review of birthday offerings:

  • 283g pack of Kraft Jet-Puffed, "America's Favorite", complete with choking warning: "Eat one at a time"
  • 280g pack of Little Becky Frootmallows
  • 150g pack of Rocky Mountain marshmallows, "A True American Tradition"
  • box of Frosted S'mores Pop Tarts
  • 8 pack of Boyer Mallo Cups with a "whipped creme centre", best consumed straight from the fridge
  • and a catering box of pink and white marshmallow mushrooms: I'm not too keen on these yet strangely there are very few left

Hugely grateful as I am to friends and family for providing these sweet treats -- I'm surrounded by feeders -- the biggest mallow news for me, Brian, was the discovery made by Eldest a week or so back. She returned from a bike ride to Woodbridge with a pack of Rocky Mountain Mega, probably the biggest marshmallows money can buy. For the mallow gourmet, these are awesome: every one is as big as your head. I made a special midweek trip on my bike to secure another pack, the last in Budgens. Needless to say, they're already gone. Now if only they stocked the RM Zebra brand, "bite size vanilla mallows drizzled with dark chocolate", my life would be 110% complete.

I'd like to think that if you were to ring the good folk at Doumak, who export the Rocky Mountain brand worldwide, they'd answer the phone with a simple "M'allow, can I help you?"