Engrossing semi-final this evening to accompany the chicken & broad bean curry. Nil-nil at full time, Bernd Schnieder (a teensy bit darker than Etruscan Red) firing closer than Klose. Into extra time and bang! Alberto "Amazing Animal Band" Gilardino jinked inside to hit the post, Gianluca "Tom Hark" Zambrotta thumped one against the bar: not the Italians' notte. With Oliver Newtown thrown on, you felt it in your Evian that Germany would win on penalties.

Both Lippi and Klinsmann on edge, but how come Jurgen gets away with NOT wearing that monolithic laminated clipboard of a FIFA pass? I think Alan Sugar should investigate. And still, out of character, the Azzurri advanced. Pirlo pushed a pearler of a pass to Grosso who curled it into the corner, beating the unbeatable Lehmann. Yes!, you'd have heard me shout. Del Piero's beaut (yes!!) was the sprinkles on the hot fudge sauce on the knickerbocker glory. Auf Wiedersehen, Germany: they'll be sleeping in their own beds tonight.

Meanwhile, back in Blighty, new to the dining table sit the plastic heads of assorted football heroes. Sainsbury's are giving them away. How are the mighty etc.