It's really late -- stupidly late -- so let's keep this short. Two games left, both against Capel B, who knows why. We need points to stay up; they want points to go up. Turning out for them are Matt The Snack, "Goodness Me" James and, bringing her dad along to spectate, Holly. In brief:

Well, Holly beat Steve who beat James who beat Ed who beat Holly who beat Kennedy. Bit more detail required:

• 0/3 for Kennedy -- nought! -- snatching defeat despite matchpoints against Matt and James, both five-enders
• 1/3 for Ed, overcoming Holly then snatching defeat despite matchpoints against James
• 2/3 for Steve -- two! -- star of the night by a mile with two big scalps in the form of Matt and James

All change in the doubles with Steve -- obviously -- and Ed. Inevitably went the distance, gone 11pm by this time, before S&E outgunned M&J. Ended in a 4-6 defeat. Another night, in a parallel universe, we'd have won.