With marshmallow offerings at critically low levels in the house -- that tiny unopened packet of mini mallows which came with the Dr Who winter warmer mug isn't going to keep body and mind together -- a sizeable parcel plonked through the post.

Nervous fumbling revealed a shoebox-sized plastic box full of ice cream marshmallow cones, quantity 150: ah, nature's finest. Retail price is 5p a pop, so the label says. I'd put an honesty box in the kitchen for the kids if I didn't recognise the futility of such a gesture.

One adult and three children have wasted no time in gnawing their way through the upper strata. As Agent Cooper might have said, my, that's good mallow.

Ta very much to Mother dear for this mightily generous and sickly sweet act.