Not that my trusty two-wheeled mode of transport is remotely worth nicking, but I do like to leave it locked. Daft not to. Annoyingly, of late, it's been more & more tricky to fully insert (split infinitive alert) the key into the mechanism, one of those minor irritations that slowly gnaws away at you.

Then, this past weekend, I applied Wonder Product (TM) to the lock, and now that key simply glides right on in, yes sirree. If only a few more things in life were like Wonder Product (TM), better known as WD-40. Squeaky hinge? Squirt-squirt, job's a good un. Rusty chain? Ditto, bish bosh sorted.

It could be that this luscious lubricating liquid is the nearest we have these days to a panacea, a universal remedy. Back in the middle ages, when men were men and dirt was dirty, alchemists went in search of these cure-alls. There was talk of one such substance called Promethean unguent, which gave the body protection against fire, weaponry, etc. All well and good, but would it help you start a wet engine?

Talk of instant fixes reminds me of this totally irrelevant Stephen Wright one-liner:

I put instant coffee in my microwave oven and almost went back in time

If You Take Away With You Nothing Else

Lesser known uses for WD-40:

1. loosens stones in horses' hooves
2. freshens breath
3. enlivens a simple vinaigrette
4. soothes nappy rash
5. prevents the seven signs of aging

Be seeing you!

Ed