EDitorial ± 30-Jan-2015
Ipswich Lunches: Truly Scrumptious
Strikes me that there are similarities between Eco Andy and
Caractacus Potts. Wife and two children: check. A tad eccentric and prone
to dressing up: check. Drivers of phantasmagorical machines: check again.
This Friday there's insufficient joules in the Zoe tank for the planned long
lunch outing so off we glide to admire the vernacular architecture of the
'Swich.
Near, far, in our motor car, it's up and over the bridge, Klammer down past the ski slope then a hard right at Papa's Piri Piri, formerly the Mega Byte Cafe. P-p-park on P-P-Purplett Street -- mauve that vehicle! -- and we've arrived, toot sweet, outside Truly Scrumptious. Sign above the door says "Hot And Cold Food To Take Away". Now, we don't do takeaways. However, a Action Man Eagle Eye sighting of a seat inside was sufficient for inclusion on The List. As luck would have it, the single interior table is occupied by a father and toddler. Counter lady sensibly suggests that we lug an exterior table in. That stash of napkins depletes as we act like The Beta Band and dry the rain.
Sadly they're all out of the "potato dog" pictured on the poster. Numerous warmed other savoury goodies are on display. Sausage roll starter, madam, followed by an egg sandwich. Brown bread, brown sauce, if you'd be so kind. Bit of a run on the bacon, apparently, and that pressure doesn't let up with a uniformly sized queue of folks awaiting breakfast baps and salad boxes. Glad to see the solo lady being helped out by a couple of stray passing pedestrians. This grub won't win many awards -- you most likely wouldn't mention it in passing on a postcard to your parents -- but it's as reliable as a Terry Butcher clearing header.
Shop space is cut in half by a large shelving unit on which reside pots of jam, choccy bars, and countless snacks. Haven't seen Nando's crisps before. Truly pleasing to spot two or three homemade cakes up for grabs. I show no shame in copying Andy's order for carrot cake -- posh! -- and not only is it a bountiful slice (nearly but not quite up to The Diner), it tastes darn fine too with the supplied spork. Coffee is push button: hot and wet. Far from spectacular, this corner joint, but on Truly Scrumptious you can depend.
If it was a car -- GEN 11.
If they were passing by -- Sally Ann Howes.
EDitorial ± 28-Jan-2015
Donald John Freston Broom RIP
40 years ago, I watched my Dad climbing up the golden stair to glory. This
was at the old Salvation Army Citadel on Tacket Street - don't look for it
now - and I'd sometimes go there with Dad on a Saturday. There seemed to be
an endless supply of odd jobs requiring his attention.
When I say "climbing up the golden stair", he was, more accurately, scaling a huge ladder which started up in the gallery and disappeared into the attic. It was so high that it was like a scene from that David Niven film, A Matter Of Life And Death. I was at an impressionable age and I was impressed. He was fearless, my Dad.
25 years ago, thanks to Mum and Dad's help with the deposit, Gail and I bought a flat in Ipswich. I asked my Dad if he wouldn't mind knocking up a shelf or two, somewhere for books, videos, LPs. He took a bunch of measurements and came back a couple of weeks later in the family Yugo. Into the flat he carried piece after piece of wood, each one carefully labelled.
He drilled, he screwed, and eventually the bottom shelf was done. What did he do next? Well, he sat on the shelf and bounced up and down, first in the middle, then to the left and right. Later, once the upper shelf was in place, he hung on to it with his fingers and lifted himself up off the floor. He was a craftsman, my Dad.
1 month ago, visiting my Dad in Heath Road, I told him that I'd spent a good
few hours putting up a shelf for Rose, my daughter. He laughed and nearly
choked on his hospital mash. He was funny, my Dad, and I'll miss him.
EDitorial ± 27-Jan-2015
TT1415, Week 15
Defiants are on a winning streak after last week's fine victory. Admittedly it's a thin streak, amounting to a single game, but isn't that like Chairman Mao's first step? Not easy to tell where we are in the table since we appear to have played one or two or three games more than other teams. Always better to have the P in the B, as they might initially say.
No guest players tonight and the long-awaited return of exam-sitting Latin-loving Natalie, armed with "A"s and "A*"s. Steve and Ed make up the remaining 66.6% as we welcome Rosary Blue (previously). There's Oh Phil, Numanoid Adrian and chop-choppy Colin. In brief:
- fab 3/3 for Ed (!), outnetting and outedging irked Phil, brushing aside Adrian and restricting Colin to not many points
- frustrating 1/3 for Steve, not taking matchpoints v. Colin before bouncing back to bat aside Adrian
- frustrating 1/3 for Natalie, coming back to beat Adrian but losing out in a super-close five-ender to Phil
Ed and Natalie into the doubles needing that extra point to claim the victory,
going 2-0 up and looking comfortable before somehow losing the next three.
Draw, it is: that'll do.
EDitorial ± 25-Jan-2015
130Story: Joining / Peach / Token / Praise / Fail
The rules of 130Story are simple: given a random seed word, write a story in 130 characters.
Joining
I'm thrilled to have landed the part of Dug, Russell's dog. I get to sing! It'll be great for my career, joining Up: The Musical. @130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) January 24, 2015
Peach
Overpriced. Often messy. All too easily bruised. Ever fuzzy and with something hard in the middle. Life's a peach, alright. @130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) January 23, 2015
Token
- You used it to buy what?
- An LP by ELO
- A what by who?
- Doesn't matter
- And this thing, it was called...?
- A record token
@130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) January 22, 2015
Praise
Journalists loved Prunella's winning article. When they printed it, the headline said: "Press Pros Praise Pru's Prize Proze." @130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) January 21, 2015
Fail
Go to bed. Look up word. Stare at screen. Have idea. Reject idea. Have better idea. Return to first idea. Submit to @130story. Without fail.
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) January 20, 2015
EDitorial ± 23-Jan-2015
Light Lunches: The Diner At Bentwaters
Hard to imagine now what the skies used to be like in these parts. We're not
talking The Orb's Little Fluffy Clouds as depicted by Gainsborough. We're
talking planes, and lots of 'em. An F1-11 here, a C-130 there, though mostly
A-10s. Tankbusters with in-your-face cannons capable of untold armour-piercing
damage. I was quite the fan, building the 1:72 model and painting it light
aircraft grey. It's probably very wrong to miss them.
Those Fairchild monsters are now, well, phantoms, shipped out along with their USAF masters. Head beyond Woodbridge, wave a wing at the Ruddy Duck and throw a pot at Jars Of Clay and you'll behold Bentwaters, the old airbase, featured in Bronhom's The Fourth Protocol. Eyes straight ahead at the entrance checkpoint and there's the diner. Need directions? Hangar left.
What would appear to be an out-of-the-way location is busy-busy with lads over there, mums and babes over here and Vin Diesel in the middle. See, there's filming goes on here, inc. stuff such as Fast & Furious 6. Check the DVD to see a beefed-up Andy drifting in his Zoe. Within the semi-permanent structure is a counter of cans and choccy bars and a huge Jacks-ian blackboard of sandwiches, jackets and main meals. They tell me I'm special so it's the Mexican bean soup for YT, a spicy bowl with a truncheon-sized warmed baguette. Both K&A play it safe with the breakfast bap. I spy a curious assortment of modern art on the walls and a disturbing number of day-old D*ily M*ils. Food is no-frills, filling and functional.
They're clearly serving The Right Stuff since The Diner was voted the best local cafe by the Suffolk Cyclists' Touring Club. Those spokesmen know their stops. I'd guess it acts as a community hub of sorts, playing host to loads of fliers (!) and business cards. Never mind the DMs, just count the therapies on offer from Heights of Tranquility to Maharishi Light Therapy With Gems. Area 51, anybody?
Cake, you ask? Of the takeaway variety this week, an absolutely stonking slab of sponge, lovely with a cuppa back in the office. That is the true taste of Friday.
- website -- The Diner At Bentwaters
If it was a car -- Acura NSX.
If they were passing by -- Ben Collins.
EDitorial ± 20-Jan-2015
TT1415, Week 14
Memories of last week's abysmal outing aren't fading terribly fast. No points at all? Very, very poor, even if our opponents that night, Manor B, should be a full division higher than us. Best we all move on.
With Yang unable to make our home games, a plea went out to our Thunderbirds pals. Once more, for the third time this season, that call was thankfully answered by Alison. And the mere fact of us having three players means that we're already three points up. Sadly, party-time Peter (last time) has picked up an injury to leave just easy-going Brian the younger and tracksuited Brian the older. In brief:
- OK 1/2 for Ed, losing out to the younger in a ding-dong five-ender
- good 1/3 for Steve, outgunning the older 3-1 and grabbing an end from the younger
- very good 1/3 for Alison, winning in straight ends against the older but losing in straight ends in a big-hitting game with the younger
As before, mighty kind of Alison to make way in the doubles, her faith
rewarded by a 3-1 win for Ed and Steve versus Brian and Brian.
Much relief for seven whole points in the bag.
EDitorial ± 18-Jan-2015
130Story: Ruler / Biscuit / Still / Farm / Flee
The rules of 130Story are simple: given a random seed word, write a story in 130 characters.
Ruler
Take:
* 5 shiny & 5 dull 2p coins
* 5p coin
* 15cm ruler x2
* 30cm ruler x2
* dining table
All set for shove-ha'penny football.
@130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) January 17, 2015
Biscuit
It was foolish of me to offer Dave Brubeck that plate of biscuits @130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) January 16, 2015
Still
Jack and Jill met at the till, buying bottled water. Jill had sparkling, Jack had still. Dad, you coming? That's Jack's daughter. @130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) January 15, 2015
Farm
Waiting for Pete, I put 50p in the quiz machine. Final question: whose first album was Spartacus? All or nothing, I bet The Farm. @130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) January 14, 2015
Flee
The crowd roared when Bozo collapsed in the ring. Carrying him out, we spotted the bubo. Our only option was to flee the circus. @130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) January 13, 2015
EDitorial ± 16-Jan-2015
Felixstowe Light Lunches: Fish Dish
Sliding over the Zoe's bonnet before checking our seatbelts, that perennial
question resurfaces: where now? Nowt new in
Woodbridge.
All but done
Ipswich.
Further afield to-do places in
Suffolk
are too far today. That French automobile mutely navigates itself to the
A12 roundabout and points itself seawards. To the coast, we coast.
Felicitations to that formidable furnisher of Felixstowe fry-ups, the Family Cafe, outside which we park. Mid-January in a seaside resort spells off-season for the opposing Corner House Cafe and Conservatory. Along the undercliff, however, is (or was) a dead pub. Remember Millar's, or the Felix, or even Old Millar's? Gone and transformed into an asset of community value: welcome to the smart new visage of Fish Dish. Snappy name, snappy service, as we're welcomed by a charming chap. Over there is quieter, he says, and over here is warmer. Your choice. Good start. This must be the plaice.
In the more temperate area -- predictable or what? -- we join the other diners and take a comfy padded seat. No coveted window seat for us, alas. On offer are charcoal grilled bass and bream, deep-fried tiger prawns and a selection of salads. Cannily, though, the F&C (fish and chips) are F&C (front and centre). For me, has to be the fillet of cod burger, while the driver opts for Cap'n Haddock. While that's being prep-ed, time for a chat over a pleasing glass of rare Ben Shaw's dandelion & burdock.
There's rock and roll over the speakers as our platters emerge. Oh my cod is langourously draped in a bap and dressed with tartare and a cheesy slice: nice! Maybe it's the beef dripping. Maybe it's the local spuds from Denison's of Ipswich. Maybe it's a secret that Alper, the manager, has brought down from Whitby. Whatever it is, readers, these are some champion chips. Proper ketchup, too. Kev, our hard-to-please absent colleague, later told us that when the family want battering, he comes here. That's a recommendation.
Great grub, super service, and comparable with the also very decent Cumberland Fish Bar over in poshy Woodbridge. Bellies bulging, we roll into the chilly air. Just time to nip into the neighbouring Little Ice Cream Co. for a reliable takeaway latte. Fish Dish? First class.
If it was a car -- Austin "Landcrab" 1800.
If they were passing by -- Fatima Whitbread.
EDitorial ± 14-Jan-2015
TT1415, Week 13
Biggest crowd for years tonight despite the wind, the cold and the rain, all hoping to watch a good match between two unevenly matched sides. Reduced ticket prices have helped swell the numbers and there's always the chance of an upset.
But that's enough about the football. Meantime, at the Manor Club across town, Defiants are up against it, the opponents being a well-placed second in the current table. Once more there's lightning Rosemary, thwacker Antonio and big-hitting Mick. In the first half game, Ed grabbed three unlikely points for Defiants by playing out of his skin to beat R+A+M. Can he do it again, maybe with another point or two from Steve or Yang? In brief:
- woeful 0/3 for Ed, winning his first end of the evening before losing the next nine: v. poor
- not unexpected 0/3 for Steve, going the whole night without an end
- unlucky 0/3 for Yang, losing a cracking game to Rosemary
Nine singles matches played, zero points gained. Up to Ed and Yang in the
doubles to grab a consolation point which they never looked like doing.
Poor show all round, skunked 10-0. Plus ITFC went down 1-0
to Southampton in the FA Cup. Must try harder.
EDitorial ± 11-Jan-2015
130Story: Trance / Spend / Face / Coffee
The rules of 130Story are simple: given a random seed word, write a story in 130 characters.
Trance
With my accountant warbling about corporation tax, I found myself in a trance of denial. Very soothing and didn't cost a penny. @130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) January 9, 2015
Spend
Once a month, Dad visited Kentucky to spend his saved Luncheon Vouchers. Shoestring on TV. Drumstick in hand. We knew how to live. @130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) January 7, 2015
Face
Interviewing for a new tech job, in walked Phil. Red eyes, pale skin, blotches. That's our man. IT was written all over his face. @130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) January 7, 2015
Coffee
Mellow Birds to Gold Blend, filter to stove-top, Bodum to Gaggia, then AeroPress to Nespresso. I could give it up tomorrow. Not. @130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) January 6, 2015
EDitorial ± 6-Jan-2015
TT1415, Week 12
A brand new year! Quarter-past eight in the evening! If we're honest, it was a somewhat underwhelming end to 2014 for the Defiants, scraping only four of the 20 points available from our last two matches. It's gonna be tight down the bottom of division 2 so some points would be handy. Alas, Natalie's doing exams and Steve's done his leg in. Fortunately Alison's been good enough to join Ed and Yang again. Here goes nought.
What with this being the second half of the season, we're now playing the first half's fixtures in reverse. Step forward the Petrels. Only powerful Peter remains from our original game back in September, now joined by two ex-Merlins, ex-BT Mick and lefty Andrea. In brief:
- decent 1/3 for Alison, beating Mick in straight ends
- OK 1/3 for Yang, doing the same with an epic 19-17 third end
- excellent 3/3 for Ed, doing enough to beat Mick before outlasting both Andrea and Peter (revenge!) in two sweaty five-enders
All of which guaranteed not losing, an enviable position going into the
doubles. Alison generously stepped aside only to see Ed and Yang go 2-0 down
before rallying to a late victory, making it a satisfactory 6-4 on the night.
Good start, team.
EDitorial ± 4-Jan-2015
130Story: Hope / Door / Coal / Wine / Connect
The rules of 130Story are simple: given a random seed word, write a story in 130 characters.
Hope
After the soup at Winston's dinner party, we endured undercooked lamb. If there's hope, I thought, it lies with the profiteroles. @130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) January 3, 2015
Door
Don't take Migraleve before going to look at louvre doors in B&Q. I didn't know if I was Jim Morrison, Aldous Huxley or Mr Benn. @130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) January 2, 2015
Coal
In 3rd place, lignite. In 2nd place, graphite. And in 1st place, anthracite, your choice and mine for coal of the season. @130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) January 1, 2015
Wine
If in Act 1 you place a glass of red wine near a cream carpet, then in Act 2 it should tip over. Otherwise don't put it there. @130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) December 31, 2014
Connect
Connect red, pos to pos. Connect black, neg to earth. Start good engine. Start flat engine. Stop good engine. Disconnect & drive. @130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) December 30, 2014