EDitorial ± 28-May-2017
130Story: Spot / Sensible / Permitted / Aware
The rules of 130Story are simple: given a random seed word, write a story in 130 characters.
Spot
Otto, sexist chair of the local palindromic society, was asked to comment on the town's proposed nudist beach:
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) May 26, 2017
NO TOPS? SPOT ON! #130story
Sensible
His T-shirt's reprehensible
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) May 24, 2017
With art incomprehensible
Inky black & on the back a motto indefensible
At least his Vans are sensible#130story
Permitted
You may:
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) May 23, 2017
* alter your internal views
* rebuild your external outlook
* consider a change of use
All are permitted developments.#130story
Aware
Walking along, phone aloft, Liam's in the loop. Politics, tech, films, the lot. Sadly he's not aware of the missing manhole cover. #130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) May 23, 2017
EDitorial ± 26-May-2017
Felixstowe Light Lunches: Spa Pavilion Terrace
Absolutely glorious day demands that the trio trot out in search of sun, sea
and sand. That's right, Felixstowe it is since there's talk of a dead whale.
That, and word of a new eatery. Replacing
Winnies,
reassures our whistleblower, is the promising sounding Waffle Shack. We park,
we stroll, we sigh. Doors are shut today. Like James Bond, we shall return.
Thinking fast and not wishing to retrace our steps, we agree to prom it along to the still-standing Spa Pavilion. Dear old Grenvyle was with us when we first came here back in 2008. Following its re-opening, we revisited a year or so back dining upstairs in The Lounge. Can I find that review? No, I cannot. Sloppy.
Downstairs in the dark underbelly lurks The Terrace. Weather such as this, chaps such as us require outdoor seating. Brief pop inside to grab menus which, we hadn't realised, apply to both up and down. Guess that's fair enough. Timings are strict:
- 9:30am to 11:45am, breakfast
- 2:30pm to 4:30pm, afternoon tapas
- 2:30pm to 5pm, afternoon tea by prior reservation only
- midday to 3pm, Sunday lunch but only on a Sunday
Fortunately we're past the 11:46 to 11:59 no-food-for-you slot and automatically into the lighter bites or main menu. Not feeling the need for a big plate (burger, steak, pizza, fish), Andy and Kev go for pulled pork paninis and nachos while I go for a ham & coleslaw sandwich. Expecting something functional, what got delivered to our table was excellent with dressed salad, Doritos and vg bread. Thirty bonus points for a J2O spritz with pear and raspberry.
Would love to report on the sweet stuff but for once we didn't. I offered to buy the boys a cone from the wonderful Little Ice Cream Co. and they declined. What's become of us? Double cake next week.
If it was a car -- Renault Zoe Z.E..
If they were passing by -- Terence Stamp.
EDitorial ± 21-May-2017
130Story: Denied / University / Shaking / Abandoned / Rights
The rules of 130Story are simple: given a random seed word, write a story in 130 characters.
Denied
Newlywed Pam, back in court, claimed to know nothing of bigamy allegations. Local paper went with:
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) May 19, 2017
Bride, Retried, Denied She Lied#130story
University
Downloaded the certificate, hired the gown, took photos, then got hired as a graduate. Who's got the time to go to university? #130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) May 19, 2017
Shaking
Peter's frisbee stuck in the branches, I don't remember how. Mum said don't be late so I left him to it, still shaking the tree. #130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) May 18, 2017
Abandoned
Abandoned At Midnight. Such a cool name for the group, or so I thought. Caused nothing but confusion when discussing stage times. #130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) May 16, 2017
Rights
Inverted real estate signs. Toppled trash cans. Upended lawn chairs. Anything overturned on the street, Condoleezza rights. #130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) May 16, 2017
EDitorial ± 18-May-2017
Light Lunches: Wild Blackberry Cafe, Bromeswell
Bromeswell? Yeah, good, thanks, although I do still try to say "fine" rather
than "good" 'cos of the whole adverb thang. Not that I've got anything against
Americanisms, you understand. Language evolves, does it not?
News reached me via a review in the blessed EADT that the righteous Ruddy Duck, attached to Swann's Nursery, had issued its final quack. In its place is now the Wild Blackberry, a fruity offshoot of Woodbridge's long-lasting and BLT-tastic Wild Strawberry. I'd like it noted that I like that leap from Fragaria to Rubus.
Dead of winter on our 2012 visit yet snug and cosy within. Now deep into spring and the place seems outdoorsy and relaxing. Much decking, many tables. Andy engages in some berry banter with the hard-working ladies behind the counter and gets as good as he gives. Special of the day is lasagne, a tad warming for a day such as this. I'll stick with the toasted panini with hummous. Takes a while but then again it's surprisingly busy for somewhere apparently so out of the way. Food well worth the wait, though.
Had a power cut at work that morning hence no particular desire to return in a hurry especially when we've got everything we need right here. Me having shelled out for firsts, Andy pops back in for seconds, followed shortly after by a very good flat white and a quality slab of carrot cake. Breakfast, lunch, and open seven days a week. Nice one.
- website -- Wild Blackberry Cafe
If it was a car -- TX4 Black Cab.
If they were passing by -- Alastair Campbell.
EDitorial ± 14-May-2017
130Story: Answers / Component / Violated / Exposure
The rules of 130Story are simple: given a random seed word, write a story in 130 characters.
Answers
LOST: Bombay cat, black as black can be. Short dark coat. Rounded ebony head. Straight inky tail. Answers to the name Snowball. #130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) May 12, 2017
Component
Talk to the best in the south-west
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) May 11, 2017
The A1 exponents of gearing components
If torque is your aim
Torquay Transmission's the name#130story
Violated
Such an ugly word, VIOLATED. I made slots in half the letters, tabs in the rest, then refitted them into a most pleasing DOVETAIL. #130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) May 10, 2017
Exposure
At the local dump, I warned Philip not to look into the skip for dead kettles. Now he's suffering from exposure to the elements. #130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) May 8, 2017
EDitorial ± 11-May-2017
Ipswich Lunches: Starbucks Drive Through
Morrisey-esque morning courtesy of a punctured bicycle. I would go out to work
and all that but that is one depressed wheel. No fun driving on a gorgeous
day like this so may as well WFH. Chance to catch up with Jarvis on his Sunday
Service, neck far too much Nespressso and rearrange the fruit bowl.
Planned light lunch outing off the menu. Hold up, Andy's got business in The 'Swich later. Am I free for a mid-pm meet? Heck, yes. Why don't we, I tell the Boyton Brigadier, try that new Starbucks? Flippin' yonks since we did that one in town.
Perched prominently on the Pet Shop Boys Promenade (close to The Mermaid) is a brand-new 'Bucks. This is one of those DTs, possibly a sympton of over-caffeination but actually a drive through. Pull in opposite the Volvo garage, swing past Burger King and speak your order into the grill if you can find it. Was a time when me and The Middler considered a trip to Stansted to find an SDT, and now we have one of our own in Ippo. What A Time To Be Alive.
A(ndy) in the Z(oe) beats me to it. I hitch the Raleigh to the post then stroll in. To my left, Andy. To my right, The Boy. Yes, I've walked in at the precise moment of my son's job interview. Did I walk quietly to the bar to order? Nope, I ruffled his hair and wished him good luck. Gone 3pm and sadly a little late for a bacon roll or croque monsieur or tuna panini. Never too late, though, for a venti latte (3-4 shots, please, barista) with a salted caramel cookie. Andy's going for it with a cold brew coffee and a slab of shortcake. We is gonna be buzzin'.
May not be to everyone's taste but I like the way they do these places. Glass galore, stacks o' space and a wide choice of seating from comfortably low to formally mid to windowed high. Chuck in some free WiFi. laptop power points and the fact they're open until 10pm weekdays -- let's pause on that thought -- twenty-two hundred hours Monday to Friday, and that's a proposition.
PS He got the job.
If it was a car -- Chevrolet Trax.
If they were passing by -- Simon Helberg.
EDitorial ± 7-May-2017
130Story: Showing / Letting / Notified / Coin / Adventures
The rules of 130Story are simple: given a random seed word, write a story in 130 characters.
Showing
Drove Ma to the cinema
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) May 6, 2017
But we had to call it quits
Couldn't find the ruddy Ritz
Missed the only showing of
I Know Where I'm Going#130story
Letting
Everything was fine until they started arguing about the front door. Mick prefers painting it black. Paul prefers letting it be. #130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) May 5, 2017
Notified
Was a phone call or text too easy? To be notified that you were leaving by hiring that skywriting plane was cruel, even for you. #130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) May 3, 2017
Coin
Sealed in calfskin within a pouch under rocks at the foot of a well deep in the woods lies the coin that must never, ever be spent #130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) May 3, 2017
Adventures
Quickset liquid that never set.
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) May 2, 2017
Laser levelłing that nearly blinded him.
It's all in Billy's book, Adventures In The Screed Trade.#130story
EDitorial ± 4-May-2017
Felixstowe Light Lunches: The Turtle and The Bear
Since Felixstowe's
River Of Life
has apparently dried up, thought we'd check out its Hamilton Road replacement,
the Vintage Tea Rooms, only to find it vamoosed with a scary looking official
notice on the door. Where now?
Along a windswept Langer Road, the Huckleberrys mother and daughter have hung up their aprons and and made way for The Turtle and The Bear, "est. 2017." There, for starters, is an intriguing name, non? Takes a few minutes to get inside due to hungry folk queueing for their freshly made baps. That wind bites so not for us the outside tables.
Relief to be seated at one of the high stools tucked either side of the door. Struck by the classiness of the joint from those snazzy lightbulbs to the wooden decor to the high-quality signage. Branding continues with the nifty sticker holding my greaseproof paper together. Innards are an absolute treat, a funky fresh club sandwich reminiscent of Carrot Cake, and that's some high praise. Bread's from The Bakery on Hamilton Road, too. Vanilla coke for me and a tastily experimental banana and peanut butter smoothie for Andy.
Tiny premises and that front door is rarely shut thanks to the steady flow of punters, most of whom the ladies behind the counter seem to know. Thankfully there's time for a vg Paddy & Scott's flat white with an equally fine slab of lemon drizzle. Well played, TTATB.
If it was a car -- The Turtle, DIY car made in Ghana.
If they were passing by -- Janet Sumner.