EDitorial ± 31-Jul-2016
130Story: Tablet / Deep / Brake / Seal / Stink
The rules of 130Story are simple: given a random seed word, write a story in 130 characters.
Tablet
"The tablet says what, Robert?"
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) July 30, 2016
Langdon pulled out his trusty torch.
"Pictograms, Sophie. But there's a name ... Ebenezer Goode."@130story
Deep
"Siri, what's 7m long by 3m wide by 2m deep in cubic metres?"
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) July 28, 2016
"There's an answer," said Siri, "but I'll have to think about it."@130story
Brake
Dangles his legs through the bridge railings. Squints. Sees headlights as almond tarts. Sees brake lights as Jammie Dodgers. @130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) July 27, 2016
Seal
Places please, guys. Robby, Flippy, Andre, Whisky, Blubby, Puppy... I count six seals. Can someone please check Ingmar's trailer? @130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) July 26, 2016
Stink
"Dear Mr & Mrs O., I'm excluding Robert for two days after he detonated a noxious bomb in the chem labs. It caused quite a stink." @130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) July 26, 2016
EDitorial ± 29-Jul-2016
Woodbridge Lunches: Woodbridge Deli
This wasn't the plan. This was never the plan. But that unexpected tailback
towards the
Seckford Spa
forced a quick-as-you-like spin of the wheel and, before we knew it, we were
bound for The 'Bridge. Curiously quiet apart from all the military personnel
and vehicles. Nothing to worry about. Probably.
Opportune time to (re)visit the Deli. You know, opposite the car park near the library? Previously the Fine Food Company, that business raised its shutters a year or so back. Good to see it under new management and plying much the same trade, i.e. oodles of top quality grub. Let's share a sizeable pork and caramelised onion pie. With a black pudding scotch egg. And a small bowl of olives. All with a cool bottle of fragrant Fentiman's. Scrum and then some.
While we're merrily snacking on the silver seating, I'm looking over Andy's shoulder at the slightly surreal sight of the Band of the Parachute Regiment marching down New Street into St John's Street. Not sure what that's about. Tucking into the last of our pitted lemon and coriander olives, a bunch of people stroll past to observe the same BotPR parading along the Throughfare. Guess you never really know what's going on over your shoulder.
Quick pop in to the Sally Army to admire the world cinema DVDs and quality paperbacks on offer -- copy of Stoner by John Williams for £1.80, please -- before resuming my seat to sample some fabulous Italian mini pastries. Plus a darn fine double macchiato. That was one fine lunchtime.
If it was a car -- Lexus CT.
If they were passing by -- Shane Taylor.
EDitorial ± 24-Jul-2016
130Story: Brand / Pointed / Sea / Floss / Whizz
The rules of 130Story are simple: given a random seed word, write a story in 130 characters.
Brand
In Asda while woozy
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) July 23, 2016
I got value muesli
A big bag of pellets and dust
Choose Alpen
Be choosy
You know that in brand names we trust@130story
Pointed
"Where was that three way duel filmed, Mr Van Cleef?"
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) July 22, 2016
The tall man sighed and spat into the dust.
"There," Lee pointed, pointedly.@130story
Sea
Prom? Fine. Pier? At a push. Paddling? No way. Five is an impressionable age. Dad still regrets letting me watch The Sea Devils. @130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) July 20, 2016
Floss
Third victim, another hygienist. Sedates them in bed. Ties razor wire across their throat. Writes in blood, Don't Forget To Floss. @130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) July 20, 2016
Whizz
"Can of chickpeas. Bit of garlic. Splash of oil. Dash of PLJ." His hummus was legendary. It was a privilege to watch Billy whizz. @130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) July 18, 2016
EDitorial ± 18-Jul-2016
Latitude 2016
Novel experience at this year's Latitude
(cf 2015).
First time I've
been with a friend. I know. Would Adam (for that is his name) keep up? Might
he dislike my personal choices over the entire twelve hour period? Only one
way to find out.
Straight in and straight off to that literary arena to catch the end of some bloke's earnest mindfulness Q&A, then on came Helen Pearson to discuss her book, The Life Project. Fascinating to hear about these groups of UK children ("cohorts") who've had their health tracked throughout their lives, inc. a bloke sitting right in front of us. Managed to edge in to the comedy tent to secure a prime spot for the incomparably hugely haired Reggie Watts, beat-boxing and marvellously messing with the mic.
Enough yakkin'. To the 6Music arena for some choice tunes from ex-Beta Band beatnik Steve Mason and back over the writer's bridge (a singular author, as Adam noticed) for a classy bit of Emma Pollock. Two Scots, note.
Funny words (inc. a tale of his autistic son heading upstairs on a bus) and poignant memories of Caroline Aherne from Henry Normal in the poetry place before grabbing a falafel and joining a nearby queue. Already started in that film arena is red Ken "Kes" Loach being interviewed by none other than Mark Kermode. Audience loved Ken, apparently as much for his politics, then everyone upstanding to allow yet more people in. Pretty flippin' hot by the time Wyrdoes ended and Adam Buxton appeared, followed v. shortly by schoolfriend Louis Theroux. Clips of wrestling, the upcoming scientology film and fresh-faced Adam 'n' Joe 'n' Louis messing around on the tube. Great stuff but good to get out in the fresh air.
First time in front of the mighty obelisk stage for a man-sized chunk of manly John Grant, striding around in shorts and rocking the Lebowski-era John Goodman look. Welcome bowl of chorizo paella in the sun, then back to poetry for the end of Daniel Piper (he's in four gangs) and a relaxing hour with Rob Auton and his new Sleep Show. Space to lie down and laugh. Lovely, albeit with those Chvrhces bleeding into the tent.
Traditional big bag of doughnuts en route to tonight's headliners, The National, first seen here back in 2010. Intense, musical, cryptic, their set ending with a sweaty Mr November before a delightful Vanderlyle Crybaby Geeks acoustic singalong.
Briefly in to see Josie Long and Robin Ince introduce Rufus Hound reading an HP Lovecraft short story. Final stroll near the theatre for the disco shed, late night tango and a robot disco. Those kids still going strong as we strolled away in the refreshing midnight rain...
EDitorial ± 17-Jul-2016
130Story: Lock / Flaw / Knight / Sum / Limb
The rules of 130Story are simple: given a random seed word, write a story in 130 characters.
Lock
He was there the instant my key snapped. "I'm John. Ok if we remove that old lock," he said, "and start again with a blank slate?" @130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) July 16, 2016
Flaw
Priceless, the Herringbone Diamond. See those tiny crystals that form a geometric pattern? That is the infamous parquet flaw. @130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) July 14, 2016
Knight
Old Valencia, 1099
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) July 13, 2016
With El Cid killed, his widow reigned divine
Jimena Diaz died aged 69
What a lady, what a knight@130story
Sum
For the horizontal stroke of the plus sign, I use a spirit level. For the vertical stroke, I use a plumb line. I like a tidy sum. @130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) July 13, 2016
Limb
We'd all seen "Limbs" Lucille on Record Breakers. Playtimes were spent limbo-ing under desks. It took dedication to go that low. @130story
— Ed Broom (@edbroom) July 11, 2016