EDitorial ± 17-Sep-2002

Instant Fix

Not that my trusty two-wheeled mode of transport is remotely worth nicking, but I do like to leave it locked. Daft not to. Annoyingly, of late, it's been more & more tricky to fully insert (split infinitive alert) the key into the mechanism, one of those minor irritations that slowly gnaws away at you.

Then, this past weekend, I applied Wonder Product (TM) to the lock, and now that key simply glides right on in, yes sirree. If only a few more things in life were like Wonder Product (TM), better known as WD-40. Squeaky hinge? Squirt-squirt, job's a good un. Rusty chain? Ditto, bish bosh sorted.

Does the job and smells great too

It could be that this luscious lubricating liquid is the nearest we have these days to a panacea, a universal remedy. Back in the middle ages, when men were men and dirt was dirty, alchemists went in search of these cure-alls. There was talk of one such substance called Promethean unguent, which gave the body protection against fire, weaponry, etc. All well and good, but would it help you start a wet engine?

Talk of instant fixes reminds me of this totally irrelevant Stephen Wright one-liner:

I put instant coffee in my microwave oven and almost went back in time

If You Take Away With You Nothing Else

Lesser known uses for WD-40:

  1. loosens stones in horses' hooves
  2. freshens breath
  3. enlivens a simple vinaigrette
  4. soothes nappy rash
  5. prevents the seven signs of aging

Be seeing you!