South American weather conditions out there today so I think we'll travel to Rio, if you catch my Mike Nesmith drift. Andy lands a prime spot to park his Kaka outside the Evening Star. We're pursuing a tip from sister paper the EADT. New cafe in town demands our attention spit spot.

Past busy and soon-to-close Pals and we're standing in front of the black and red 80s-styled home of Brasilia Cafe (briefly the Mar Azul tapas bar). More like a restaurant inside, fairly formal with tablecloths and napkins. To drink? Authentic soft drink, please: that'd be a green can of Guarana Antarctica, fruitily distinctive. To eat? Er, is there a menu? In a Gilliam-esque moment, waitress gestures for me to look at the pictures on the window outside. Choice would seem to be:

• picanha -- beef steak
• feijoada -- pork and black bean stew
• moqueca de peixe -- fish stew

Pork for me, beef for Andy, then we'll share. There's already baguette and butter and olives to pick at, plus, if you're brave, some fish pate. Although they've been open fully five weeks, there's obviously work still going on, including preparations to make the upstairs bar area (we were given a quick tour) suitable for live music.

Food's here: rice, bit of cabbage, sprinkly cassava topping, and a monster bowl of black beans and pork. Similar quantities of grub weigh down on Andy's side of the table. That "light lunch" label isn't overly accurate sometimes. It's good tasty stuff, not too spicy, and half a bowl would have been plenty. Of course, I finished the lot, and still wasn't hungry six hours later. Brazil: great film, mostly a great team, and good luck with the cafe.

• website -- Brasilia Cafe

If it was a car -- Volkswagen Brasilia.
If they were passing by -- Alan Brazil.