Sufficient time has now passed for me to make this announcement: I did not, repeat not, win the Ip-art short story competition this year, 2010. That will have been obvious to anyone passing by the Ip-art website but I've only recently digested this nugget. Time to drop it and move on.

Indulge me further while we run through a potted history of my Ip-art fiction:

• 2007 -- Coast -- winner, natch
• 2008 -- Cold War Kid -- entry quite clearly lost in the post, ahem
• 2009 -- The Bean Counter -- another mislaid entry, cough cough

So having been accelerating downhill for the last couple of years, it was gratifying to slam on the literary brakes and find myself shortlisted this year:

• 2010 -- Lights Out -- shortlisted

Had an enjoyable if tense evening at the groovy UCS building, back at the end of June, in the company of the judge, Kate Pullinger. After passing a quick comment on each of the dozen entries, Canadian Kate named the runner-up as Sheila Preston -- well done, polite clap -- and the winner as ... drumroll ... Kate Thurlow. Hearty congrats to Kate, who I've seen at more than one local writers' cafe.

Didn't quite manage to get myself sorted for the Guardian's summer fiction comp this time around, nor indeed the more parochial Let's Talk mag. Bit like the footy, there's always next year.