We're male men, much like Kevin Costner or Cliff Clavin. Ergo we're mildly autistic. In the same way that you might, say, collect Deadly 60 cards and not stop until you had Every Last One, we were all too aware of an incomplete set. With the Riverside reviewed and Pump Street praised, we had an obligation to Orford. Only one more for The Trinity, coincidentally the name of the Crown & Castle restaurant. They've got a bib gourmand: is it right to take toddlers to posh places?

Pleased with our Market Square parking spot, past Pump Street (hi, bakers!) and into the well-signed Penny's; still way too cold for outside seats. Sofa and solitary table are occupied so we're relegated next door to the long table within Orford's super-equipped general store. Perfectly fine, what with free WiFi and a pristine copy of The Times to paw over: Andy for the business section, me for the arts, darling. What would we like? Bring us Pen's Pies! Over to the deli goes the lady and oh dear, they've sold out. Shame.

Back to today's individually dated menu for our contingency, pork products: bacon sarnie for him, BLT for me with organic ketchup (like Cook's Shed). Filling outshone by the bread. By this time, we've acquired the sofa and are using the distinctive "P" and "C" shaped silver tables. Quiet today but come the summertime, this joint would be jumping. Compact interior is dead smart. Recently refurbed, I believe. Love the artwork.

Never mind the culture, there's lots of good-looking cake staring us in the face. White choc fruity flapjack for me plus a flat white -- made with Union Coffee, sez the sign -- and a family slab of carrot cake for Andy. We emerge, wodged. Consider The Trip(Tych) of Orford ticked off.

If it was a car -- Chevrolet Lacetti.
If they were passing by -- Samantha Bond.