Standing outside the Whistlestop, you wouldn't need to be that British bloke who used to do the javelin, ooh, whats-his-face, to throw a stone and hit the Caravan Cafe. Don't prove me right, Fatima. And if the 'Stop can boast of "stunning views over the Deben", the outlook's even better when you're on the river-side of the railway line (see the map). It's so close to the riverside -- address is Quayside, Bass's Dock -- that an unlucky wind can cause the occasional flood, preventing both entry and exit. On our Friday visit, however, there was a drop of rain but not enough to merit any serious arkbuilding.

Our table tennis trio ordered one large breakfast, a bacon roll ("excellent"), and double egg, ham and chips, each washed down with a proper mug of tea. Don't embarrass yourself by handing over any form of plastic: it ain't that kind of place . Service is mighty agreeable, and there's something peculiarly English about seeing the tins of beans and toms stacked in the window.

Food was delivered to us on one of the colourful outside benches. Couple of minutes later came the odd spit from above, so we headed inside: not quite the Tardis effect but not far short. Clean formica tables, Heinz and HP and Sarson's, you know the score. Mind you, I did spot a box of Earl Grey and some green tea for the more enlightened punter.

If you can move after your fry-up, there's an ice-cream freezer and a selection of baked slices ready wrapped to take away. That slice of Genoa cake and the marshmallow-topped hot chocolate really could have waited. Oh, and before I forget, the board says they're closed Monday and Tuesday.

If it was a car -- Ford Transit.
If they were passing by -- Ray Winstone.