In the Festive 50 from 1986 -- tracks of the year as voted for by listeners of John Peel, you'll remember -- there were, as ever, many fine songs. Putting aside the landslide of Smiths, Fall and Wedding Present entries, there was an especially memorable tune at number 47. Great bandname, great songname:

Some people say that bowling alleys got big lanes
Some people say that bowling alleys all look the same
— Camper Van Beethoven, Take The Skinheads Bowling

Wanting to check this out for ourselves, and in need of somewhere walkable offering a hot lunch, we sauntered over the road to Kingpin. Dead quiet inside apart from all the noise: shoes being sprayed, skittles being struck, and short orders being prep-ed on the griddle. Quick glance of the laminated menu shows burgers (2/4/8oz), jackets, nachos, and even a curry of the day. Handy Andy goes straight down the middle for a "Bowlers" all-day breakfast. I'll take a split of an egg & bacon bap with some chilli chips on the side. Young chap taking our order is disconcertingly helpful and friendly.

Ought to mention that they sell cold Coke in glass bottles: this is a very good thing. Taking a seat in the anonymous bar/dining area next to the fruit machine, our friend brings us cutlery, then condiments, and finally two big plates o' grub. Andy's is generous while mine is momentous: that's extra chilli, he adds, pointing to my mound of Mexicana. Those chilli-covered chips are a family meal in themselves, never mind the bap on the side. Knife and fork in hand, we hunker down to some man's work. Very good indeed.

Ten pins later, we're sated, stowed and stuffed. We stagger up to pass on our thanks to the fella, noting that he should be up the road at Milsoms instead of here on his minimum wage. Too kind, he says, before making us a not half bad cup of coffee. Just time to drink it as we applaud an elderly gent who's cleared a tricky looking spare.

If it was a car -- Fiat Dino Spider by Pininfarina.
If they were passing by -- Mark Roth.