Now, if you want to take some pictures of the fascinating witches or, like us, simply visit The Bubble Lounge in Ipswich, you're too late! Their place in The Walk looked much like that of The Orangery across the way, i.e. closed. Or maybe they're all out of bubble mixture. There goes Plan A.

Plan B (who, oddly, was in the audience at the New Wolsey in October): let's shake a leg down to the Buttermarket. Must check if the likes of Cafe Giardino and Cafe Moda are still going. Grazing gaudily opposite prim Waterstones is ShakeAway, "the world's largest milkshake bar company", or at least a branch thereof. Seats outside are as welcoming as last week at the Ruddy Duck, but it's now mid-December and the weather's still filthy.

There's a handful of seats inside -- plus a table football -- and they do coffee, and they have a roof. Criteria met. Hang on an udder-squeezing minute: hold the coffee 'cos this is the place for a hot milkshake! Canny all-year franchise that they are, they offer a limited edition range of warming shakes on their Hot Stuff Winter Menu. Among the saucily named Cuddly Kate, Hot Harry and Warming Willie, fnar, are sections labelled:

• chocolatey
• cakey
• biscuity
• sweety

Eventually, selections are selected: Daim/Dime Bar with extra Maltesers for Andy, and bakewell tart topped with custard for me. Truly a first for the Light Lunchers, those options. Takes a while for the fella to freshly prep our beverages, but here they are, and ... they're far better than you might think. Not unpleasant. Actually quite nice on such a grotty day. An entire Wonka-type meal in themselves, and ideal before heading up High Street to see the hygienist. Sweet!

If it was a car -- Jake The Shake Car.
If they were passing by -- Sheikh Mansour.