It's said that there are people who visit Ipswich to go shopping in the town centre and have no idea about the waterfront. It's also said that there are people who visit Ipswich to patronise the waterfront area and have no idea about the main shopping area. Navigating between those two disparate parts of town takes skill and cunning to avoid the Monte Carlo racetrack of Key Street and College Street. Hint: take St Peter's St every time and admire the Obolensky statue, Curson Lodge and, er, the Novotel. I Scream!

I'm prep-ing to leave home and head dockwards when there's a stereotypically efficient call from Herr Schwarz: where is everyone? He's on time, we're late. Damp and dismal as I pass the now defunct Neptune Cafe, shortly to relaunch as That Chocolate Place. Underneath the new Salthouse extension and left a bit to Colours Continental Cafe, a big name for a small place. Tree fellers are there already, well into their savouries. Well-stocked soft drink fridge has a range of Frobishers juices including "bumbleberry" -- that'll do. Like a scene from Heroes, time must then have stood still since my mixed-fruit drink was waiting for me when I made the six-feet walk back to our table. Curious.

C3 is a cube of a caff, fittingly, with an unsquare atmosphere. Elegant clock on the wall, papers, and doing plenty of takeaway trade for the resident pinstripes. My sweet cured bacon sarnie was OK; would opt for a freshly-made salad next time, maybe even a veggie alternative. Memory tells me that they're one of the older establishments on the waterfront from the new developments, if that makes sense. They definitely pre-date Coffeelink, a Usain Bolt stroll away. Credit to them for surviving.

Let's get serious and talk Kaffee und Kuchen. Caffeinated beverage has to be the macchiato, served in a poncy (can I say that?) cup. When I sip, I look like Eric Bristow on the oche. Cake has to be the Victoria sponge, a mercifully smaller slice than last week's monster at JaCey's. Last few crumbs and we pay up before dispersing like Spooks. You ain't seen us, right?

If it was a car -- Suzuki Swift.
If they were passing by -- David Singmaster.