Comes to pass that Andy is sustainable-schmoozing in town, I'm WFH (what the heck), ergo we should cross (a) paths and (b) another eatery off Earl's list. Also becomes evident that his eco-venue plays host to such an establishment. Sorted: 1pm in the foyer of the strikingly original UCS building, aka University Campus Suffolk, hyper prominent between Coffeelink to the right and Colours to the left.

I'm a bit late, dur. No sign of Mein Host. Beginning to admire the artwork when he uncloaks, and we manage to tailgate our way to the 3rd floor. Not totally sure if the Wicked Cafe is open to Joe Public. In we wander, wide open space with PCs on the walls, and there's a dearth of students. School, it would seem, is out. Touch of the three bears, though, 'cos who's been eating all the wraps, soup and paninis? Food is decimated except for a mini Ginsters trade stand: there's the whole service station range for our gourmet pleasure. Er, I'll have the spicy chicken slice. Yes, please, heated would be good. Processed slice, piping hot -- more degrees than the Dean -- on a cardboard plate with plastic cutlery. Enough said.

Cold drinks seem to have been outsourced to a pair of chunky vending machines. Quid goes in, and there's entertainment to be had watching the little platform rise to sweep away my Lucozade Sport. It's isotonic, you know.

Only one vertical direction for things to go. Latte with an extra shot, please. Not sure if you'll need that, says the lady: our coffee is quite strong. And she's right. Good and strong and hot, a fine accompaniment to a shrink wrapped granola bar. Had we arrived earlier in the day and in the academic year, I've no doubt that the counter would have been covered with tempting savoury options and freshly baked cakes. Possibly.

If it was a car -- Reliant Kitten.
If they were passing by -- David Troughton.