Everyone enjoys a leisurely nine holes of put-put-putting. Fact, we seek out Le Minigolf when en vacances in France: c'est tres populaire. Did a few rounds of pitch and putt up Chantry Park but grew frustrated at not being able to hit the bloomin' thing. Which links (see that?) us to this week's vendredi venue.

A short drive round the back of the site, past the quarry, left towards the Moon & Sixpence then right into Waldringfield Golf Club. Thankfully non-members are welcome. Andy made sure not to use the parking spaces reserved for the club pro or the W.A.G. captain, Cheryl Tweedy. Into the clubhouse we blundered despite brazenly breaking the dress code: "shirts must have a collar ... trousers must be tailored ... socks must be white and above the knee." We'll have a temporary concession, if you'd be so kind.

Didn't take long to order at the bar, paying upfront, then grabbed a table in the conservatory. Sunny outside; stuffy inside. We'd each gone for a giant bap, maybe as big as your head. Impressed that my modestly sized roll contained a whopping three sausages, plus fried egg (40p extra). Well done. Breakfast baps behind us, we badgered Andy for the results of his recent travel plan competition. Apple, anyone?

Here's a shocker for a Friday lunchtime: no cake available. That being the case, didn't hang around for coffee. All in all, sad to say, this was an Asda outing compared to the Waitrose delights of Seckford Golf Club.

If it was a car -- Matra Rancho.
If they were passing by -- Andy Townsend.