EDitorial ± 23-Apr-2002

And In It I Put

There's a terrific vinyl LP in the loft called Songs From The Knee Plays. It's the work of that mad fella David Byrne, who's this week lounging in the all-important top 10 laying down the vocals for XPress 2 on their Lazy single. Nice.

On one of the Knee Plays tracks, DB talks about going into a supemarket. At the checkout he wonders what would happen if, rather than wheel out his own trolley, he took home the contents of someone else's. Would consuming their goods make him more like that other person?

Never mind the innards, Fila width

That was flitting about my unconscious when I spotted my trusty and slightly battered Fila rucksack under my desk at work. It ain't pretty, but it makes a dead handy cyclist's carry-all, a biker's briefcase. Not unlike a handbag, I'm never entirely sure of its contents - so I did a lunchtime inventory:

  1. Handspring Visor PDA
    • an expensive address book; must use it more
  2. E45 dermatological cream
    • ironic, being allergic to your working environment
  3. wintergreen Altoids
    • overpoweringly odious and quite unpleasant-to-eat mints, but it would be wrong to simply dump them
  4. dental floss
    • to dislodge those p.m. orange pieces
  5. two pencils
    • pens are forbidden at the local Record Office lest you leave a permanent mark on the precious things
  6. five red dice in packet
    • um, must be a good reason for these, related to numeracy hour at school
  7. one rubber band
    • because you never know - be prepared, said my cub scout leader
  8. dead 25w bulb
    • prompting me to buy a working identical one; has been in the bag for months
  9. 36 exposure 35mm film
    • "process before Mar 2002": never mind
  10. pack of playing cards, mint in packet
    • rewatching Groundhog Day, I was impressed by Bill Murray's ability to flick cards into a hat; that's a skill I want
  11. balloons, one white, one green
    • a kid's book at home, "Supposing", shows a mother and child releasing balloons from the top of a hill; keep meaning to do this one day
  12. mini pack of Smarties & small Bob The Builder chocolate bar
    • rucksack often accompanies trips out with kiddywinks; always good idea to take emergency confectionery
  13. two bulldog clips
    • see above comment on rubber band
  14. Post-Its
    • got these, but prefer green-ness of writing on back of discarded print-outs

Difficult to draw too many conclusions from that, I'd say. There's gadgetry mixed with everyday items, personal medication (I include the Altoids) and jobs left undone, but also props for future learning. What's in yours?

Be seeing you!


EDitorial ± 17-Apr-2002

Express Yourself

Naturally, you must know that I have approximately 37 children, all called Dave. No wait, I'm getting confused with a Dr Seuss story. In actual fact there's only the three (!), though at times that can be three too many.

Being kids, they're prone to the odd mood - not unlike their mum & dad. When I step through the door after a nice quiet childcare-free day at work, I never know quite how they'll be. Take your pick from surly, jolly, indifferent, playful or downright pantsy.

This evening all three were cheery, for once, and happily sat still for some quicky digital pix.

Littlest   Middler   Biggest
-- cool --   -- amused --   -- sibilant --
Middler   Biggest   Littlest
-- intense --   -- gappy --   -- serene --
Biggest   Littlest   Middler
-- radiant --   -- forced --   -- aloof --

Be seeing you!


EDitorial ± 11-Apr-2002

Bolt-On Memories

It had to happen. After the fabulous highs of the previous two seasons with Ipswich Town FC, there had to be a less-good time. Which it feels like we're having right about now. Funny how one particular club's fate has become intertwined with our own in the past few years, that team being Bolton Wanderers.

Case 1 - 1999
In the year of Prince's party, Ipswich had thrown away the chance to secure the second automatic promotion spot in division 1, and so went into the play-offs, not for the first time. We went down 1-0 at the newly opened Reebok stadium, fairly confident of turning it round in the home leg.

We flew back from hols in Cyprus on the day of the second leg, and were listening in to Radio 5 driving back to sleepy Suffolk. Nails were bitten as we finally went down 4-3, crashing out on the away goals rule. Little Kieron Dyer, like the rest of the team, was gutted and left shortly afterwards.

Case 2 - 2000
Another year, another play-off semi v. Bolton. I remember lying on Felixstowe beach on my birthday, tuning in on my tranny to the away first leg as we went 2-0 down before marvellous Marcus Stewart scored twice to make it level. This time I gathered enough ticket stubs to attend the home leg - here's what I wrote at the time:

The crowd is very much on the pitch

What a night. 0-1, 1-1, 1-2, missed a penalty, and not yet half-time. Then 2-2, 2-3 pretty much straight away, a minute or so to go and it's doom & gloom, then Magilton gets his hat-trick to make it 3-3.

Out for extra time, Johnson's held in the box, and Jamie Clapham makes it 4-3 with another penalty before Reuser finishes things off. Despite police warnings to stay off the pitch, the crowd is very much on the pitch. Very bizarre to hear ticket arrangements for Wembley (Wembley!) on the way out of the ground at around 10.45pm.

Cars all honking their horns on the way home; you'd think we'd been promoted already. So, one more little match to go...

Oh, and we then beat Barnsley at Wembley to go up!

Case 3 - 2001/2002
The week before we're due to play the mighty Inter Milan in the UEFA, we face Bolton at the building site that is Portman Road. And lose, 2-1. Never mind.

Several months later, we're away to Lancashire to play what the Evening Star calls "the 20 million pound match", figuring that's what it'll cost either side if they lose, and consequently drop into the Nationwide. Hopes are high as the game kicks off, then we're 1-0 down within a minute. It's a disgraceful 4-0 to Bolton by half-time in what the ITFC chairman calls an "abject" display.

So, like the price of shares, they may go up, they may go down. At the time of writing however, One of these is more likely than the other. Funny old game.

Be seeing you!


EDitorial ± 2-Apr-2002

An Apple A Day (Part 2)

As they say in Ren & Stimpy, "Happy happy, joy joy!" Yes indeedy, the fashionistas writing for both Vogue and Heat are saying that white is very much the new bondi blue. Or, to put it more simply, I got me a flash new iMac!

Aided by seven-year-old eldest, we went through the six set-up steps (twice Showaddywaddy, half a recovering alcoholic) on Good Friday:

  1. plug in the power lead
  2. plug in the telephone lead
  3. plug in the speakers
  4. plug in the keyboard
  5. plug in the mouse
  6. switch on
And Robert is my father's brother-in-law, as they say, making the swift transition from figure 1 to figure 2.


Figure 1


Figure 2

My original iMac was three-and-a-half years old. To give you some indication of progress, the new machine weighs up like this:

  • 3 times as fast,
  • 8 times as much RAM,
  • 10 times as much disk space,
  • and it's got a SuperSlot for toasting bagels

Best of all though has to be the adjustable flat screen. Not only is it very sharp, but it seems to hang in the air. Deep joy.

Be seeing you!