What with the Co-op on Carr Street having been Virgo-ed, then vanished like Woolies, that's another less department store in town. Don't need to go too much further back to witness the demise of Littlewoods in Tower Ramparts and Allders in the Buttermarket. Should you be torturing yourself for a towel bale, there's always Debenhams, or, of course, a name you can trust -- British Home Stores, aka BHS.

Frontage faces Blends and is home to a small-ish takeaway place. Back faces JaCey's and is home to a larger restaurant, today's destination. Once all parties are present -- both of us -- I propose that we do the mid-40s thing and take the tea for two. Working backwards, that's the scone, pot of tea and, weirdly, a shared sandwich. Agreed, says Andy. As a tribute to our late friend, we opt for the pre-packed prawn: it's what he would have had.

To bulk out the savoury, we take advantage of the stickered offer and "add chips for 99p". Daft not to. Swiftly past the olde worlde hotplated hot food -- chicken portions, cottage pie -- and find a table. Stay inside to bathe in the natural light, of which there is a goodly amount. Numerous tables out there by the groovy tourist information centre but most pleasant in here too.

Done savoury and on to the main event. Tricky choice of miniature pot of jam, proper cream and an excellent scone. Such a tasty morsel is what the whole light lunch shindig is all about. Next time you're choosing a sensible lamp or even an uplighter, you devil, drop by.

If it was a car -- Smart ForTwo Cabrio.
If they were passing by -- Miranda Hart.