And off we go again. Those ping-pong overlords gazed down, took pity on the Defiants and decreed that we should remain in division 2, and not be sucked down to the bottom league. Phew. Let's hope this is a Good Thing.

Sticking with me, Steve, Yang and Natalie for another season. Consistency is both our watchword and our possible downfall. Joining us, however, at the very last minute is new girl on the block Helen. None of us had even met her before this evening's game but she's clearly keen-as-Colman's. Enthusiasm is very much to be encouraged in this day and age.

Providing the first opposition of the season are our avian acquaintances the mighty Sparrows. Aware that we might just have two players -- like I say, the Helen thing was all very lastminute -- they've kindly rested The Flying Boyland in favour of colossal Colin, beaming Bill and honest John. In brief:

• improbable maximum for Ed, hoorah, losing the first end of the evening then winning the remainder
• debut duck for Helen, sneaking an end off Colin
• handy brace for Steve, only going down in a five-ender to top-scoring Bill

Over to me and Steve for the doubles, a neck-and-neck game going down to the wire before they triumphed on a deuce in the final game. We'll take a draw.